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in response to carol becker's discussion in
zones of contention: essays on art,
institutions, gender and anxiety on the
prodigal daughter and on the transition from women
expressing themselves directly rather than through
others i interviewed my mother. my questions for
her began after i read from the text "in the
nineteenth century if women did leave the home,
they became protagonist in stories told about 'the
fallen woman' - the one who has sexual
relationships out of wedlock, who perhaps bears a
child and either dies in the process, unsheltered
by the world, or is taken back by the family on
condition that she live as a virtual nun for the
rest of her life." i knew of her aunt
ellen who at the age of 20, around the turn of
the century, had committed suicide because she was
pregnant and unmarried. the church then refused to
bury her because of her double sin. that is when
her younger brother, paul, my grandfather,
denounced the church which began the tradition of
atheism in my family.
i asked my mother about her mother, mabel
who married paul. they were a farm family - both of
swedish immigrants. i wanted to know if mabel had
an outlet for artwork. mom said mabel did a little
painting but mainly there was no time on the farm.
she said "she quilted not only as a necessity but
also some nicer quilts, not all utilitarian." she
said "she had more time than some women because she
had a hired girl that relieved her of some of the
utilitarian work such as the mending and making of
clothes. also they had electricity and water in the
house and a furnace which helped reduce the
workload, the kitchen had a wood stove that they
had to keep fired. she said housekeeping was not
such a big chore as it is now because they had less
crap around the house - fewer things in general.
she never got into knitting or other forms of
handiwork. mabel graduated school at the 8th grade
and then went to toben jr. college in northwest
iowa around the age of 16. it was an encompassing
school, she studied latin, philosophy, history and
literature. she also got her certification and was
a school teacher for a few years at the age of 19.
she was on one of the first girls basketball teams
in the state. she met paul and married at 22.
throughout my mom's life, she said mabel loved to
read in her spare time. sunday's were the day off,
they didn't include church- other than meals, mabel
got some time to herself. she was a member of the
woman's club - it was more intellectual and society
project oriented than the church ladies club. mom
said it was always assumed that all of mabel and
paul's 6 children would go to college - it was
assumed that the 4 daughters would have
careers.
polly is mom's oldest
sister, then hattie, then ginny - mom is the baby
of the family. when i asked about the expressive
outlets of each of her 3 sisters and herself she
explained them this way:
polly was always a reader. always into
literature. she was a school teacher for many years
and was active in social reading clubs, head of the
book study club, organizer of her library at the
retirement center. she did very nice
sewing
but not a lot of it
(whereas mom would do a lot of quick "whip it out"
sewing that she wouldn't always have the patience
to make really nice). mom said polly was never much
into quilting or knitting but mainly did
needlepoint and handiwork, partly because she could
do this kind of lap work while traveling or
socializing with family or with her husband
bob.
hattie had also
pursued a career but did not care for teaching. she
went to the aib business college and worked as a
secretary for many years. mom described her as
working a lot. she always bought new fashionable
dresses and later handed them down to mom. she met
and married russell and they took over the grocery
store in my mom's hometown, gowrie. at first they
were encouraged by the previous owners not to have
children but after hattie recovered from a lengthy
illness she found she was expecting. mom thought
that changed hattie. the previous owners had seemed
grouchy to her. hattie was responsible for the
household because russell was busy with the store.
they both were very involved in golf - hattie at
first because of russell but then it became "her
time" to be alone after marriage. mom said that
because they were not part of the church some
people wouldn't shop at their grocery store. golf
served as their social outlet. hattie's sewing work
was crochet - she had 2 boys and so mom said she
never got into sewing pretty girl things. she has
crochet a blanket for every one of her nieces and
nephews.
ginny took a different
route. mom described her as totally academic. she
had done some sketching when she was young - once
she did some posters for the ladies aid society and
they were not happy because the drawings were to
real to life - more like charicatures. when she was
in high school and then college she spent her
summers working and writing at the radio station.
she traveled the most - she would work as an aid on
trips to europe to earn money to go on her own. she
moved to texas with her husband and taught as a
women's history professor in dallas.
mom described herself as
not having enough time to do everything she wants
to do now. she feels overwhelmed by housekeeping
but doesn't see it as important enough to do. she
said if she had time she'd clean, sort and quilt.
if i were to describe her artistic outlets i would
say she is mainly a quilter - she makes a few every
year plus many smaller baby quilts and corduroy
afghans for the high school. she has always sewn -
everything from doll clothes to instrument cases.
when she sews clothing she gets frustrated - her
release is to quilt - her quilts are sometimes
based on the traditional patterns but also done in
amazing creations of her own. she has made a double
wedding ring quilt for each of my married siblings
- quilting drawings of stories of their lives in
white or colored thread on white fabric in the
center of each square. heirloom pieces - she also
makes a day quilt so that they don't wear out the
good one. she gardens like a farmer's daughter -
everything grows in excess. she makes grape jelly
and juice every year from the harvest - nothing
goes to waste.
i asked her about sports - she swims and bikes
regularly - she said all of her sisters played
tennis, golf and swam when they were young because
that is what the "modern girl" did. mom and her
sisters all played basketball in high school too -
high knee socks and long wavy hair.
most recently mom who teaches learning disabled
at my old high school has been working with the
mentally disabled students and taking them down
into the art room. they worked with the art teacher
and did clay and then paper mache. she really
enjoyed herself and it was so nice for me to see
her get rejuvenated about teaching after 35 years
of work. she told me she's doing it with her
learning disabled kids now, they work on collages
and paintings during class and they have their
behavior awareness class discussions as they work.
she brought in coat hangers and helped them bend
them into different shapes - and then wrap in paper
mache.
i asked her the question that people ask me -
what did your parents do to raise so many artistic
children ? there are 8. she said it "just happened"
she said she allowed and encouraged painting on
everything - the washer and dryer, the windows, all
the time. i asked her if she had had art when she
was young and she said none when she was at home, a
little bit in school. mainly her school activities
were music, journalism and basketball. she said
that dad and her saw an interest and talent in
martha, the oldest, and kept on encouraging it in
all of us. she said it was their goal that they
"preserve academics in this world - the heritage of
reading and discussing, raising their children to
be creative and proactive citizens." i asked her
what her mother would think about my sisters. she
said mabel would be glad that we're all career
oriented and creative.
i asked her about the fact that sarah, for
example who has three kids, doesn't always have a
lot of time for herself and she said that she
thought sarah does what she can and that she
expresses herself through what she is doing with
the kids. she said that art just happens in all
aspects of your life. for example she described the
little things in my sisters' lives that she sees as
artistic outlets. she described andrea's bathroom
sink - it's an old large porcelain sink and she's
filled the bottom of it with large round flat river
rocks. i asked her about when i was younger how it
came about and what she did when i made a life size
dummy of myself to put on the back of my tandem to
ride in a parade. she said it just developed from
talking about it - that art just happened. she
described rachel's training of her cats to go on
the toilet, and her elaborate salad preparation as
artistic extensions of herself. she said we were
all exposed to so much. going and seeing,
traveling. she said that one of her favorite things
to do was to travel and visit art museums,
historical places, parks. i asked commented to her
that i thought the opportunities for the women in
our family had changed a great deal in the last 100
years - she said when ellen was alive that the
artform for women was painted china and other
victorian home crafts. i can't wait to see how my
nieces develop their stories.
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